Feeling different. ..

I’m feeling especially different today…I’m wondering if I’m in the right place, at the right time…I’m wondering if I’m the right person for the job…what job?  Fixing this life, fixing relationships,  and loving unconditionally,  oh ya those jobs.
I hurt today for the first time in weeks, I’m trying to let it go, and being only somewhat successful.  I said that I would be happy with however long I had pain free, so am I to embrace the pain?  Or refuse it and instead hang on to the concept of being totally healed? 
It’s a difficult decision,  I Want to be well, these past few weeks have been the best of my life… but if I am not meant to be completely well I don’t want to make it worse by fighting the inevitable. ..that’s just depressing.
How do you know which path to take?  For someone such as I, who seems to see others so clearly,  it is frustrating as hell to not be a ble to see your own path.
I think I’ll just surrender, let go, of all expectations,  and wants and instead.
.. live now, in the moment,  whatever that is.
Kal’le’la’da Lynne

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