Sending Potent, Positive messages to children by Judith Spitler McKee Ed.D

Excerpt from Indigo Children by Jan Tober and Lee Carroll.

“All children require personal and intense care, attention, time, encouragement and guidance from adults.  The overall tone of the adult-child interactions needs to be emotionally caring, loving and soothing, as well as intellectually clear and stimulating. The verbal and nonverbal messages sent to be consistently lighthearted and welcoming to children, as if they were invited and cherished guests in our lives.

Many times adults feel, act and talk in ways that make children feel they are anything but welcome:  rather, that they are actually bad, a burden, or a nuisance.  these unwelcoming, heavyhearted messages are extremely damaging to the growth, learning, striving and creativity of children who look to adults as models for support.  Children experience these messages as:  I’m a bad child, unwanted here.  These painful messages of fear lessen children’s ability to respond and can seriously stunt their overall development.

Conversely, a stream of lighthearted, welcoming messages of growth is interpreted as: I’m a good child: my world is positive and loving.  This view develops children’s trust and opens up internal motivation to grow, learn strive and create.”

“…as if they were invited and cherished guest in our lives.”  what a beautiful way of expressing our love for our children.  I wish this book had been out when I was a child, so many more lives would have been touched.  How do you respond to your children?  How did your parents respond to you?

My parents try as they might, were often in the heavyhearted category.  Not really their fault, for I don’t believe in placing blame, it’s just fact, for me.  I found that after a while you quit asking for the nurturing you crave, at least from your parents.  I am blessed to have found nurturing in many friendships that are actually closer to me than my family.  A  like minded, soul-family is what I needed.  And found, through trial and error.

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